Bad Days Does Not Make You a Bad Mom

On some days during our early morning routines, and to my surprise, Amelia gets her own shoes and coat on while Aylah sits calmly as I put her shoes and coat on and we are out the door in 10 minutes.

Other days, Aylah is kicking her feet as I try to put her shoes on. I then have to ask Amelia 5 times to please get her shoes on so we can head out. It takes me 30 minutes to get them ready to go, in the car, and strapped into their car seats. So exhausting!

On some days I believe I succeed at this whole mommy gig; other days I beat myself up about how I could have or should have done things differently.

Lately, I don’t know what has gotten into Amelia. She does not listen when her father and I talk to her. She does things she knows are wrong and when we are calling her name, she completely ignores us. I have tried talking to her, giving her a little time-out, and yet nothing has worked.  I have been stressing over this for weeks now and my patience is wearing thin. I don’t know what else to do.

In order to get through these difficult days or phases our children go through, we have to remind ourselves that we are good mothers. Good moms have bad days too and those days do not make you a bad parent. Those days are normal. In fact, I am often times taken aback at how much other moms can relate to the same things I complain about. I used to feel guilty for not loving being a mom every second of the day.

The other day, my father told me that I do not know how to talk to Amelia. He said Ariel and I are always yelling at her and not allowing her to be a child. Now, may I just say how strict my father was with me when I was growing up?? I felt like I was always in trouble. My grades had to be on point, I had to speak a certain way to people in front of him, I had to constantly be on my Ps and Qs in efforts to not upset him; so the audacity of him to say that to me! I was really offended. It’s typical for Hispanics to always give you their opinion whether you asked for it or not and the ones in my family always tend to exaggerate. I was in the slums for days feeling like the worst mother in the world because according to my father, I am mean to my daughter. I felt like I was failing.

But after feeling guilty over it and paying closer attention to the way I speak to her, I disagree with my father. I am very fair with Amelia. She knows what is right and what is wrong and most times she admits when she is wrong. I rarely raise my voice at her. I get at eye level and firmly talk to her and then it typically leads to some quiet time in her room for her.

So my advice to all you mommies is that instead of dwelling on the bad, focus on the good. Take a five minute breather, regroup and try again. You are not failing at anything. You are only doing your best and that my friend, is more than enough.