6 Tips on Keeping the Spice in Your Marriage After Having Kids
It is officially February 1st. I am so excited for this month since its such a romantic month to me. I figured the theme for this month will be on marriage and relationships. Too many times I have heard all these misconception about married couples losing their "mojo" and how the fire burns out after starting a family. Although I do not disagree that having children does make it difficult to keep the romance but it is NOT impossible. It is absolutely a tricky transition into parenthood, however it is a choice you must make, to keep the flames burning; to keep the love going.
I always wanted for Ariel and I to be that couple that has been married forever but still acts like newlyweds. I want to forever be madly in love with him and in order for that to happen we have to get creative and work for it. Marriage is not easy, but if you work for it, it will be perfect for you.
Below are some suggestions I found that I feel will help you keep the spark in your marriage.
After having Aylah, our second daughter, Ariel and I agreed to commit to date night two times a month. I got the idea from a dear friend of mine and it was the best suggestion I have ever gotten. When on a date, it puts us both in a different place; it kind of brings us back to the days when we were just dating and it does not have to be at a fancy restaurant or out dancing. Date night can simply be binge watching your favorite TV show on the coach over popcorn and candy. The key is to be just the two of you, alone, enjoying each other's company.
Put Your Spouse First
Yep I said it. Your Spouse. Not your kids! Before you start rolling your eyes at me, let me elaborate! When your marriage is strong, so is your family. It shows your children what REAL love looks like and also provides a safe environment for them. Happy couples create happy homes and children need happy homes more than anything. So although your spouse is an adult and can take care of himself but working together is how you strengthen your marriage and in return strengthen your home and family.
Turn Mommy Mode Off
Yes being a mom is a 24/7 job, but so is being a wife. I do not mess around when it comes to bedtime. By 8:30 Aylah and Amelia must be in bed and they know it. It is harder with the little one since she is still only one but Amelia knows the deal. When I say its bedtime, she starts her normal routine and goes to bed. I enforce it because after they are in bed, I transition from mommy to wifey and now it is time for me and hubby to spend time together.
Treat Each Other With Respect
Sure, there will be times when your spouse drives you crazy but we must still be respectful. As women, we tend to nag and treat our husbands like children and that may not help keep the flames from your marriage burning. You are his wife not his mother. This particular tip posed a bit of a challenge for me with Ariel. I found myself nagging to him and constantly complaining about how messy he is. Those comments did not go well with him and we ended up bickering every time.
Being parents is such a hard job. You will often disagree on what you feel is best for your children. What is "best" may be different to each of you as individuals. However it is so important to keep your marriage in tact as well. Working as a team will allow you both to be a more cohesive unit. It all comes down to an open, honest line of communication. Be patient with one another and always keep an open mind.
Keep On Pushing
Marriage, like all relationships, are not easy. There will be tough times. There will be days where you cannot stand the sight of your spouse. But you cannot give up on each other. Remember why you fell in love with this person in the first place. Don't be so quick to throw in the towel when the kitchen gets hot. Instead, take a breather, regroup and try again.
So I hope this article helped you find areas of your relationship that you can improve in order to keep the fire going in your marriage. Remember, love will only diminish when you stop giving it. So do not stop loving each other and find creative ways to show your love. If you enjoy this post, make sure you show me some love in the comments and to get more awesome content, don't forget to subscribe.